Tears and joy

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One of the hardest thing about being in a rehab hospital with multiple severe wounds is the countless dressing changes and the pain that accompanies them.

Every day I have to have my back wound change two to three times, my stomach wound changed twice, my colostomy cleaned out, and then every Monday, Wednesday and Friday the wound speciaist comes to remove my leg wrapping and vac and re-do it. The reality is that although remaining positive is ideal, several times a day I break.

I have learned that letting myself cry when I need to is ok, being scared is ok, and yet at the same time I could still pull strength from God. It is amazing I am here.

Tonight Sean walked in after a long day of work, his eyes full of love and yet full of fatigue. Every day he drives to the rehab hospital after work to sleep next to me. He holds me from side to side as they clean me, and we hold hands. Times like this I find joy and sadness, as I long to be healed and back home with nursing care.

Then I have to keep in mind progress- today in physical therapy I walked again. Today I did a step up on a step platform, although it hurt and I was weak- I did it. One of m y wounds around my hip is getting smaller, so although I have a new infected stomach wound- other parts are healing. My parents arrived into town today, what sweet joy it is to hug them.

I am continuing to try to learn acceptance, patience, and still fight. Until then, I will let the laughter, tears, smiles, and silence be a part of me- and I will continue to look towards God to heal me so I can be a wife, and a light.

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7 responses »

  1. Oh Dear Colleen,
    I wish you were close and could be a physical shoulder for you to cry on, I have never been through such a traumatic experience in my life and watching your fight and honesty, it reallyis more than moving. We are all thinking of you in the Welpott family:)

  2. Oh Colleen- my heart breaks for you as I read of your struggles- and yet, I continue to marvel at how far you have come since the accident. I MUST believe that God will bring purpose out of all this pain- we simply cannot see it right now. I do continue to pray for you, Sean & all your family. You are incredibly strong- and I think blogging will be very beneficial- especially in future days when you can look back & see how God brought you through!!! This Thanksgiving, I know MANY are ESPECIALLY thankful that you are still with us! Pace yourself, sweet girl! Hugs & blessings, Pam Atkinson

  3. Colleen, never doubt that you are a wife and a light. Even in your weakness, you are strong and you shine. Hugs and lots of love,
    Beth

  4. Wow, Colleen. Tears AND joy, indeed.

    I love you lots, and you can do it! You’ve always been strong, and having your sweet, strong husband by your side helps, too. As does all who love you, and are praying for you, and are always there for you.

    Wish we lived closer together….. I’d be swinging in as much as I could….. especially for your amazing and contagious smile, laughter, and your hugs are ALWAYS so great!

    Miss and love you! Keep on being YOU ❤

  5. Colleen although we never became close friends (we saw each other whenever you came to the SU) and were just passing in and out of each other’s life – you are my inspiration. You have taken something that is so horrific and shown us how to perservere. Sending love and prayers your way. Debb Fraser

  6. I love you Colleen and please know that we are all there with you….holding you and giving you strength….I am sending some angels your way to help Sean and to help you with the pain. I just got back from East Timor! What a trip…I can’t wait to tell you all about it.

    Let us know what kinds of goodies and distractions we can send along. Love you so so much!
    Kate 🙂

    • Thank you Kate, I hope your trip was amazing. Thank you for all of your thoughts. As for distractions, I’m at a loss. Im living in a hospital with beeps, buzzers, and constant motion. I cant wait to heal walk strong, and get home.
      Much love,
      -C

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