Thank you

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Breathe. Feel the air going into your lungs, embrace it as it fuels your blood and cells, and your organs. Celebrate life.

Today I cried a lot, I winced a lot in pain, but I did it all because God spared me. This afternoon my parents, brother and sister and law and nephews came to the Rehab hospital. They drove up from PA to make Thanksgiving dinner and celebrate together. When I finally got help organizing my tubes and getting in to a wheel chair, my sweet husband pushed me down to the cafeteria. Tucked in a back conference room I discovered my family sitting around a beautifully decorated table with smiles on their faces. One by one we embraced. This time the hugs were different, they were fully with purpose, strength, love, support, and incredible joy.

As I sat uncomfortably on my large wound in the wheel chair- I just felt such thanks. A plate of home-made dinner was put before me and we lowered our heads, held hands firmly and prayed…. The quiet ticking of my wound vac was sounding in the background.

“God, you spared me….” kept running through my head. As my ten year old nephews sweaty hand held me tight I drank in the goodness of our togetherness.

Upon eating I struggled to stay dry-eyed. I simply wanted to look at my loved ones. My beautiful sister, my older brother, my husband who kept watch of me softly, my squirmy ten year nephew that finds fascination in everything, my eldest nephew who is now fifteen. I looked at him and remembered when he was first born and I held him closely, so proud to be an aunt. Then of course my mom and dad. Although I am a 36 year old woman, I still need them. Watching them talk and laugh just brought so much joy to my soul.

I have about another month or so in the rehab hospital. It hurts to stand and walk (but I can!) for short distances and my wounds….. ugh. But, I believe in my heart this will be temporal. Today my wish was to stand long enough to embrace my husband, and I did. For about ten seconds I nestled my head into his chest as he embraced me. I really needed that.

When I am healed I look forward to being a light to you. thank you Bill, Molly, and my cousin for helping us raise money for medical bills. Your work for us will never be forgotten.

Happy day of thanks. May every day be Thanksgiving.

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2 responses »

  1. Love you Sister.
    Keep looking up. Keep looking forward.

    I’m thankful for our relationship, for our friendship, for our closeness. I’m thankful for you always being a light even when surrounded by darkness. I’m thankful for you finding your soul-mate, and for his steadfastness and devotion.

    I am thankful that you’re still here.

    The only thing that could’ve made this day better for me would’ve been if I had been able to throw one of those big hugs around you too.

  2. Sweet Colleen. Thank you again for sharing your deepest feelings, and thoughts.

    And, girl, you have been and always WILL be a light : ) Even now. Even while you are still healing. You are such a bright beacon…….

    and YAY for being able to stand, albeit for a ‘short’ time – which I hope and pray felt like a REALLY long time, because you were nestled into his chest, as he lovingly embraced you. *sniff sniff* Isn’t love like that SO amazing?! All flowing from God. Agape love….!

    Love you lots, girl! and yes, EVERY day is Thanksgiving, indeed.

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